Am I the only one who has a Negative Nancy for a mother?
I’m tired of feeling depressed and beat down whenever I finish talking to my mother. People always seem shocked when I say that I don’t miss my mother and I only talk to her once a week or every two.
But every conversation goes the same. I start to tell her something that’s going on in my life, she listens briefly, then starts to tell me what went on with her and who asked for me and then says goodbye.
Just once, when I tell my mom something, I’d like her to be glad for me. I want the first words that come out of her mouth to be positive ones. Just once.
Case in point, yesterday I told her I’d joined a professional choir, which is a pretty big deal (especially considering that I haven’t sung for the last 12 years). The first thing she asked was where they were based, and when I told her that they aren’t a church choir, she still wanted to know where they operated from, so I explained that to her. Then she wanted to know what time they practiced and how I got there. Told her that too, including that they practice from 7 to 9 twice a week. Then she wanted to know if I was safe to be traveling at that hour considering the crime, even though it probably wasn’t as bad as Jamaica. This is regardless of the fact that I had just told her that I got dropped straight home every evening I had practice.
My point is that my mom still hasn’t congratulated me on joining, asked me why I joined (or when) and if I’m enjoying it (or even if I could sing).
This is the same kind of behaviour I experience every time I do something new.
- Got a job – When will I become permanent?
- Become permanent – Don’t do anything that will make them want to fire you.
- Want to go back to school and improve myself – Why are you leaving the good job that you have? Is what you’re going into going to pay you?
I understand that these are all good questions to ask, but when coupled with a persistent lack of positivity to balance the negativity, it gets to the point where I just don’t want to tell my mother anything at all. Good news, bad news, I just don’t want to share.
My mom lives in Jamaica and I live in Trinidad, for which fact I’m profoundly grateful. Because I can just imagine what I’d go through if she lived here. The thing is too, that I can see where she gets it, cause her mom operates the same way. I pray I don’t pass down the same behaviour to my children.
Now don’t get me wrong, my mom is a good person and she’s done her best over the years. It’s not easy bringing up two children as a single mother (my dad died when I was 5 and my brother was 3). I acknowledge and appreciate everything she’s done for me, and that we love each other.
But I just wish she’d be more positive sometimes, so that I would feel that something I did was worth celebrating (at least in her eyes).
So let me know folks, do you feel better or worse after you talk to your mother?