“But consent is not a magic wand for eternal hotness, no matter how dreamy clear communication is.
Consent is not always sexy. Sometimes asking for what you want sucks. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes you feel nauseous, sometimes you need to take big risks to ask for what you want.
Sometimes you ask for something that you want, and you and a partner try it out, and then it turns out you are not so into it after all, and you have to tell your partner that it isn’t something you want to do again, and risk hurting your partner’s ego or feelings/being embarrassed.
Sometimes you spend weeks working yourself up to a point where you feel secure enough to voice your needs or wants.
And then it turns out that your partner is not into what you are into, or shames you for wanting it.”
That hollow feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you want to ask for something that you’re not sure they’ll appreciate…

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